Why Write this Book?
To help men leave behind their old ways of thinking and their silent suffering. This essay analyzes my own suffering and the thoughts that have emerged from it.
To write this book, I explored my inner garden. I include myself in what I say and in what I claim. I have fears; I welcome them and learn to heal them. One fear – and not the least – has been to believe that without sex and a territory to protect, a man is nothing. To preserve my illusions of power, I developed an arsenal of tactics to appear strong, manly, reassuring, open, super cool! Blue, pink, pick a colour... I was a chameleon.
The separation had caused a lot of suffering. They say “grief transforms,” but at that moment I had no idea how true the adage was. Breakups are more common now than ever, tearing families apart. Like a bulimic, I read everything I could find on the subject, trying to understand. I thought a lot about this dramatic experience, as others have before me and as others will after me. I realized that it had injured more than just my pride. Why does the feeling of loss hurt so bad?